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Gaokao (CN)
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身心状态 · Mind & body · 5 min

Handling parental pressure

The pressure comes from love. That does not make it easier to sit with.

Parental investment in the gaokao is intense in almost every Chinese household. Parents rearrange their work schedules, spend savings on tutoring, and organize the entire year around the exam. This produces both material support and enormous unspoken pressure.

It helps to recognize what parents actually want. Under the surface of grade demands, most parents want their child to have more options than they had. The demand is instrumental — the underlying goal is not a specific score.

It also helps to name the pressure explicitly, once. A calm conversation early in the year — 'I know you're worried, I'm working as hard as I can, I need you to trust me' — often reduces the daily friction more than any tactic.

Try not to argue about grades in the hour after a mock exam result. The emotional charge on both sides is too high. Sleep, then talk the next day.

If the pressure crosses into something you cannot cope with — sleeplessness, panic attacks, an inability to work — reach out. A school counselor, a teacher, or a helpline is the right move, not a private struggle.

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